17 May 2003

I sat down with my keyboard, the Sunday missal (which I unashamedly took from church), a pencil and an eraser, all prepared to compose the psalm for this Saturday. I remember Duane asking me some time ago how I come up with tunes for the psalms and I told him that it’s 100% inspiration. Three weeks ago, after watching American Idol, I suddenly realized that I was humming a tune to myself and what do you know? It materialized into a psalm.

Ever since I told Marissa and Melvin that I would like give composing a shot, I’ve found that God has never failed to provide me with a tune, sometimes even a few. It’s certainly not a chore for me. This is my very own form of prayer and through this, I feel a certain intimacy with God. It’s a little hard to put into words actually- a feeling of being one with God and experiencing a love that no one on earth can ever provide me with. The only downside of composing is that I’m forced to sing into the recorder (which always makes my voice sound strange and crackly), so that the cantor for the week can learn the psalm easily. Nevertheless, I’m getting over that now. I mean, who cares how I sound like since the cantor is the one who’s going to be doing the eventual proclamation of God’s word, right? Right.

So, let’s get back to the scene that I was describing at the beginning- me sitting down with my keyboard, raring to compose another psalm. 10:30pm, 10:45, 11:15, 12…I’m starting to get worried because I can’t seem to find a tune to fit the psalm. As Darren suggested, I closed my eyes and listened to the wind, hoping that it would whisper a nice melody into my ear. 12:10…it’s officially time to start panicking. I’m suppose to meet Shaun the next day to pass him the recorder and I’m not sure if he’d appreciate me giving him a recorder with no psalm on it. 12:20, 12:30…that was IT, I told myself. If God doesn’t want to provide me with a psalm, we just won’t be able to sing it on Saturday. It will not be my fault.

[Aside] This kind of reasoning only works when one is tire, annoyed and pressed for time. It is non-exemplary.

I dragged myself out of bed at 7am the next morning just so I could try my luck at composing once again. I sat down with my keyboard and wondered how long the Lord wanted to wait before he decided to send some inspiration my way.

Ok, ok. To cut a long story short, I got the psalm done. (Morning time equals fresh mind but strange, strangled chicken –like voice.) Poor Shaun.

You know what? There’s actually a point to this whole direction-less narrative. Firstly, God always provides. Secondly, never take your gifts for granted- what God gives, he can also take away (scary, but true). Thirdly, DO NOT procrastinate.

And last, but definitely not least, never attempt to sing a high D at seven in the morning.